FUN BITS
|
FUN BITS |
|
Lookalikes  Ricky Villa ...................Lee Hore |
All New Footy Facts Supplied By Ray Worden
A Manchester City fan was banned in 1995 from bringing dead chickens into City’s Maine Road ground. He used to celebrate City goals by swinging the birds around his head.
In 1957, the Salisbury and District FA of Rhodesia officially approved the payment of £10 to hire a witch doctor. Salisbury had lost every match the previous season.
Striker Elisha Banda, who played for Zimbabwe airforce team Cone Textiles, was kidnapped, drugged and tortured for eight days by team-mates angry that he’d signed for civilian team.. He was found bound and gagged on scrubland outside Harare.
There are only two football teams in the Isles of Scilly – The Gunners and the Wanderers. They play each other every week in the league, the only break being when they meet in the Cup.
In 1973, the entire Galilee team spent the night in jail for kicking their opponents during an Israeli League game.
Stopping off en route to Iceland , the Albanian national team were thrown out of England in 1990 after going on a shopping spree at Heathrow. They had thought “duty free” meant help yourself.
Italian referee Marcello Donadini was taken to hospital in 1973 after being bitten in the back by a player who didn’t agree with a decision.
Barcelona ’s Hristo Stoichkov was banned for six months in 1990 for stamping on the referee’s foot after being sent off in a Cup tie against Real Madrid.
The Liberia team escaped imprisonment by holding Gambia to a goalless draw in 1980. The Liberian Head of State, Master Sergeant Samuel Doe, had threatened to jail them it they lost.
West Ham defender Alvin Martin scored a hat-trick against three different goalkeepers in the 8-1 win over Newcastle in 1986. The injured Martin Thomas was replaced in the Newcastle goal first by Chris Hedworth, then by Peter Beardsley.
A referee at a friendly match in Brazil drew a revolver and shot dead a player who disputed a penalty decision. The referee escaped in horseback.
Hollingsworth Juniors football team from Manchester fell victim to an own gull in a match with Stalybridge Celtic Colts in 1999. Colts were leading 2-1 when 13-year-old striker Danny Worthington tried a speculative shot from 25 yards. The ball was sailing way over the bar until it hit a passing seagull on the head, spun over the Hollingsworth goalkeeper and landed in the net. Despite protests, the goal was allowed to stand. Realizing they were up against 12 men, demoralized Hollingsworth went on to lose 7-1.
The Scottish Cup tie between Falkirk and Inverness Thistle in 1979 was postponed no fewer than 29 times because of bad weather.
The first Littlewoods Pools coupon attracted the interest of just 35 punters.
The Sampdoria team and 200 supporters walked 20 miles to a mountain sanctuary near Genoa in 1969 to thank the Madonna for helping them stave off relegation.
In 1990, the Football League banned Scarborough from wearing shirts advertising Black Death vodka on the grounds of bad taste.
Everton used to play at Anfield.
In 1998, The Macclesfield mascot, was sent off for making obscene gestures during a players’ brawl in the match with Lincoln City.
Cash-strapped Portsmouth cancelled their weekly order of new jockstraps in 1999, a move which would save £112. Administrator Tom Burton ordered the club to wash them instead of buying new ones.
When England entertained Malta in 1971, the match was so one-sided that the ball didn’t cross the England goal-line once in the entire 90 minutes. And Gordon Banks in the England goal didn’t have a shot to save.
Visitors Kilmarnock had to take the same penalty seven time during a fixture at Partick in 1945. The spot-kick was eventually saved and Partick went on to win 5-3.
Bury players refused to do any more promotional work for the club in 1997 as a protest at the lack of nappy-changing facilities at Gigg Lane for their wives.
In an attempt to boost gates, Bristol City staged a chimps’ tea-party before the 1976 game with West Ham.
Plymouth Argyle striker Dwight Marshall was accidentally injured by one of hi own fans after scoring at Chester in 1999.
In 1993, HFS Loans League team Congleton were forced to call off a minute’s silence to mourn the death of the club’s oldest fan...when he walked into the ground.
Referee Henning Erikstrup was about to blow full-time with Norager leading Ebeltoft 4-3 in a Danish league match when his dentures suddenly fell out. While he scrambled around looking for them, Ebeltoft equalised. Despite vehement protests from Ebeltoft, Mr Erikstup disallowed the goal, replaced his false teeth and promptly blew the final whistle.
A Tanzanian soccer match was postponed in 1978 after the referee was arrested on the pitch and accused of smoking marijuana just before the kick-off.
In the space of five minutes at Sunderland in November 1998, Barnsley striker Ashley Ward scored, missed a penalty and was sent off.
Leicester City went through an entire FA Cup tie with Northampton Town in 1997 without committing a single foul. Leicester won 4-0.
In 1999, a Manchester City fan threw an asthma inhaler on to the pitch during a disappointing home draw against Northampton.
Dundee United’s Premier Reserve League game against Dunfermline at Arbroath in 1998 was abandoned after just 90 seconds because of high winds.
At the age of 52, Pedro Gatica cycled from his home in Argentina to Mexico for the 1986 World Cup, only to find on arrival that he couldn’t afford to get in. While he was trying to haggle for a ticket, thieves stole his bike.
Giuseppe Lorenzo of Bologna was sent off after just ten seconds of the Italian League match with Parma in 1990 for striking an opponent.
Romanian midfielder Ion Radu was sold by Second Division Jiul Petrosani to Valcea in 1998 for 500kg of pork (Worth about £1750).
A 1984 match between Sheffield United and Oldham was postponed when a war-time bomb as found near Bramall Lane.
Fans at Gillingham were subjected to celery searches in 1996. a craze had started for waving sticks of celery while chanting an obscene song. So anyone caught in possession of the vegetable was threatened with a life ban.
The all new football trivia quiz
All these questions have a common link.
Answers are below the quiz.
1: Who scored past Pat Jennings at Wembley in his bare feet in front of millions of TV viewers?
2: Who is the only English player to score a hat-trick in a European Cup Final?
3: Who as a player has won the League Championship, League Cup, FA Cup, European Cup, European Cup Winners Cup and the World Club Championship, whilst as a club manager has won the League Championship, FA Cup, Milk Cup, Littlewoods Cup, European Cup, European Cup Winners Cup and the UEFA Cup, and has also managed England?
4: Who has scored for Newcastle United at Wembley under the managership of Kevin Keegan and then later in their career came on as substitute goalkeeper for an injured Peter Schmeichel for Manchester United in a European match?
5: Who played four consecutive Scottish Cup finals in the 1970s, but never won the trophy?
Answers:
1. Tony The Tiger (Frosties ad)
2.Roy Race, Melchester Rovers
3.Roy Race, Melchester Rovers
4.Honey Monster (Sugar Puffs ad)
5.The Strathclyde Police Pipe Band
"7 bed detached!!! I've only got a mobile home at Delabole!"
Ferguson continues "I told you, we're talking Man United here... the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and think big!
I've also arranged your transport, a Jaguar XK8 for the week and a Ferrari F50 for the weekend."
The lad is on cloud nine. "A Jag and a Ferrari!!! I only had a Reliant Robin at Delabole!"
Ferguson continues "I told you, we're talking Man United here... the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and keep thinking big!
Right I will put you on at the start of the game, but don't be surprised if I pull you off at half time."
The lad can't believe it.
"Pull me off at half time !!! I only got an orange at Delabole!"
New Grass Roots Football Laws
I found this on a football website and found it very amusing, These are new laws of the game as stated by FIFA for grass roots football. Below is a short excerpt of the laws the full list can be found here
'New Laws of Association Football -
Prepared by Managers and Players as a Guide for Referees - February 2004
Law 1. - The Field of Play
The field of play shall be on or below the minimum dimensions specified by the competition. All field markings shall be at the discretion of the groundsman. Neither he nor his equipment will be available on a match day. Goalkeepers may add whatever markings within the goal area and penalty area that they feel necessary. Flagposts are discretionary. Any adjustment requested by the referee to pitch, markings, goals or nets before the game is unreasonable.
Law 2. - The Ball
Goalkeepers have the right to inspect and veto any the match ball. If the referee asks for the match ball before the game, it is his responsibility to remove any mud and inflate the ball. Otherwise, the match ball and spare are to be used for the pre-match warm up. Players are then allowed to appeal that the ball is under/over-inflated after 5 minutes play, whereupon the referee is required to produce a pump. Substitutes have the right to use the match ball for a kick-about at halftime.'
Football Trivia Questions.
A quiz emailed to me by Ray Worden. You can email your answers to me if you like or just play along for fun. The winner will receive a cup of tea at the next home match!!!!!!
Answers are below the questions.
Football Trivia (Answers)
“Shanklyisms.”
Thanks to Ray Worden for this article
Many people consider Bill Shankly of Liverpool to be the greatest football manager of all time. He was certainly one of the most passionate and colourful, with a quote or a quip to suit all occasions. Here are a few prime examples of his finest “Shanklyisms.”
“If you are first, you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.”
After a hard-fought 1:1 draw: “The best side drew.”
To a young Liverpool trainee: “ The problem with you son is that your brains are all in your head.”
After signing giant centre half Ron Yeats: “With him in defence we could play Arthur Askey in goal.”
“The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game.”
To Alan Ball, after he’d signed for Everton: “ Never mind Alan, at least you’ll be able to play next to a great team.”
To hard-man defender Tommy Smith after he turned up for training with a bandaged knee: “Take that poof bandage off, and what do you mean YOUR knee, it’s LIVERPOOL’S knee!”
To the players, after losing out to Manchester United in signing Lou Macari: “I only wanted him for the reserves anyway.”
About the This-Is-Anfield plaque: “This is to remind our lads who they’re playing for and to remind the opposition who they’re playing against.”
“Of course I didn’t take my wife to see Rochdale as a wedding anniversary present. It was her birthday. Would I have got married in the football season? Anyway, it was Rochdale reserves.”
On the offside law: “If a player isn’t interfering with play or seeking to gain an advantage then he should be.”
To a Brussels hotel clerk who queried his signing “Anfield” as his address on the hotel register: “But that’s where I live.”
To Celtic manager Jock Stein after the 1966 Cup-Winner’s Cup tie at Anfield: “Jock, do you want your share of the gate receipts, or shall we just return the empties?”
After a 5:1 defeat by Ajax in the European Cup in 1967: “We cannae play against these defensive Continental sides.”
And on the same game: “Five-one…..Aye, that should help them make a game of it when they come to Anfield for the second leg.”
To Tottenham manager Bill Nicholson before Spurs’ League Cup Final game with Norwich in 1973: “I see ye havenae got a match this week Bill.”
On Brian Clough: “He’s worse than the rain in Manchester. At least God stops that occasionally.”
Of an opposition defender in the early ‘70’s: “If he had gunpowder for brains he couldnae blow his cap off.”
When asked what aspect of the game he disliked most: “The end of the season.”
Reporter to Shanks: “I think Tony Currie’s display was reminiscent of Tom Finney.” Shanks’ reply: “You could be right. Mind you, Tom’s 57.”
Tommy Docherty: “You have to say Tony Hateley’s good in the air.” Shanks: “ Aye, so was Douglas Bader, but he had a wooden leg.”
On hearing a rival manager was unwell: I know what’s wrong - he’s got a bad side.”
New 'Coleman Balls'
"I've got a gut feeling in my stomach..."
Alan Sugar, speaking on BBC1
"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
Ron Atkinson in a TV interview
"Johnson has revelled in the 'hole' behind Dwight Yorke..."
Carling FA Premiership WWW Page
"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal."
Dave Bassett, speaking on Sky Sports
"Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals."
Peter Withe, speaking on Radio 5 Live
"You don't score 64 goals in 86 games at the highest level without being able to score goals."
Alan Green, speaking on Radio 5 Live
"What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began? I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal...."
Simon Fanshawe, speaking on Talk Radio
"And we all know that in football if you stand still you go backwards..."
Peter Reid, Tyne Tees Sport Special
"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..."
Andy Gray, Sky Sports
"The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes."
Steve Coppell, Radio 5 Live
"They (Rosenborg) have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them."
Brian Moore, ITV
"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen."
Terry Venables, Capital Gold
"The lads really ran their socks into the ground."
Alex Ferguson.
"He (Brian Laudrup) wasn't just facing one defender -- he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well."
Trevor Steven, STV
The job of the sports commentator or pundit can be full of pitfalls. Give an instant verbal reaction to a situation and sometimes the mouth becomes engaged before the brain David Coleman was famed for his verbal slips and the magazine 'Private Eye' started a 'Colemanballs' section, which has been extended to cover all commentators‘ gaffes. Here are a few prime examples of some football “Colemanballs”
"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"
Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before League Cup QF, 1992
"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence."
NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning
"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"
George Best.
"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.
"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.
"Fulham Football Club seeks a Manager / Genius."
Newspaper ad, 1991.
"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was part of his anatomy."
Jimmy Magee, RTE World Cup commentator.
"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought."
Bobby Robson after England nearly lost to Cameroon, WC 1990.
"We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival."
Niall O'Mahoney, Cork City manager before UEFA Cup game v Bayern Munich.
"It's hard to be passionate twice a week."
George Graham on Arsenal's punishing schedule, 1991.
"The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day."
Chris Jones, Evening Standard
"What will you do when you leave football, Jack -- will you stay in football?"
Stuart Hall, Radio 5 Live
"Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot."
Ray Wilkins, speaking on BBC1
